i've changed...

for me, it is proven that it takes me only one incident to change me...

am i being to cruel???

i think it was just a misunderstanding...

but as i've done my part>>>apologizing which i thought i'd be somehow 'forgiven' by that person, still i think she didn't forgive me...

i rarely have the 'mood' to have some fun with my friends these days...

sooooo sorrryyyyy guys...

i know u guys are innocent...

i know u guys are affected by my attitude nowadays...

but i couldn't help it...

i just want to be alone...

enough joking....

enough fun...

enough bluffing with me...

enough is enough...

i really want to hear she says something good to me...

not to say in angry tone at least...

really want to hear that...

i admit that i've changed...

things will never be the same after this...

but it's okey coz my family knows me better...

i don't care i u think that i've absorbed all the negative attitudes...

i don't want to care...

it's hurt you know...

it was like my heart have been broken into small small pieces...

and to know that the person you love talk to you like that...

it was hurtful...

really...

am i tooooo cruel????

am i not allowed to be mad at anybody???

is this makes me a bad person???

to that person...........>>>>>

i really apologize for everything...

i admit my mistake...

and i did that unintentionally...

really sorry...

for me, you're still my friend also my sister...

u still do...

i'm not mad at you, i'm just sick of everything...

i want to be alone...

so, let me be...

congratulation b'coz u've succeeded to make me "shylock"...

congratulation...

to all my friends...........>>>>>

thanks for everything...

sorry if u guys are also affected by me...

thanks to be by my side...

i just need to be alone...

please let me be...

exam result + accident

a night before...

tanggal 18 april 2009... mmg ari yg bnyk knangan ah... arini aku dpt result mock exam aku... bole la... marks aku average je... xsmpai pn distinction... sdey gak r... down gak aku td... serabut pale otak... aku akan tebus blik time final exam nnti... akan aku pastikn... PASTI!!!... aku agak down td coz aku rse aku mngecewakn parents aku... wlaupn aku rse parents aku xrase kcewa pn... plik kn...? tah la nape aku jd down gler td... kwn2 aku sume rsau... pdhal right after exam 2 aku dh siap2 mntak maaf kt parents aku ckp maaf tkot aku fail n mngecewakn diorg... aku xfail pn tp tah la... rse b'slah sgt2...cm dh hncurkn harapan diorg... sume incidents dulu yg leads to aku nye rse b'slah sume dtg... sdey gler... n kat parking lot wisma saberkas td... kaki aku nyaris kene accident... prbly b'coz i think toooo much of my result or mybe b'coz i'm really tired... don't know... tp mmg nyaris2 kete iswara 2 nk gelek kaki kanan aku td... kwn aku zery,din,aina n fatin dh cuak gler... agak la...mmg gler la...dpn mate aku kaki aku t'sepit... tp xla smpai kne gelek...dkat2 nk kne gelek je... kete 2 smpat benti...aku trauma la gak... maunye x...tkot gler aku ilang kaki aku...xsanggup!!! plik gler cmne aku bole xnmpak kete 2...mybe sbb t'selindung dgn kete laen kot... kwn aku dh mlintas dlu, tp aku je t'tggal kt blkang coz ade kete 2 nk lalu... then pas kete 2 lalu aku tros la lintas coz ingtkn xde kete laen... tp tetibe lak mncul kete ni...sumpah aku dh pndang dh tp mmg seriously aku xnmpak... then, sandle aku lak mmg licin, jln 2 pn licin, tros aku t'jtuh n kete 2 hampir2 gelek kaki aku... aku pn ape lg, jerit r skuat ati...tros kwn aki si din ni jerit name aku n lari kat aku... kete 2 dh benti dh...n chinese man yg drive kete 2 cuak gak la... aku pn cuak...kaki aku skit ni...x g klinik pn...tah la... kwn aku kte kaki aku cm b'lipat nk ptah time kat bwah kete 2 tp aku rse xla trok cm2 kot... mmg tgh skit kaki ni...adoiii...slah aku gak...mngelamun time 2... yg kwn2 aku g rse b'slah lak coz xjage aku...adoiii...dh sah la slah aku bkn diorg... din ckp die mmg tkot r klau jd ape2 kt aku td... si zery lak slahkn diri sndiri sbb xjge aku... si patin n aina agak cuak gak r time 2... aku time 2 dh t'byang dh yg aku xde sbelah kaki...yg aku kne benti dr stdy, xdpt smbung stdy... taubat aku!!xnk aku...YA ALLAH...aku b'syukur sgt2... mmg gler r td... thanks korg especially zery, din, fatin n aina... aku tau korg tkot+cuak gler td... aku tau korg sygkn aku... aku xdpt jamin la pasni... tp aku akn lg b'hati2...(insyaAllah)xjnji tau...aku ni careless sket... mne xnye...xabes 1 sem ni dh 3 accident aku kne... adoiii... 2 la ksah aku arini... taubat2... gler r...

2 weeks after exam...

2 weeks after exam ni mmg gler ah... most of the days were hectic+crazy+full of magging from the lecturers... mmg gler... aku dh immune dh agaknye dgn kate2 lecturers yg asik2 nk ckp u'll not able to survive if u continue to do your exam like this... adoiii... trok sgt ke bdk2 klas aku n aku bwat exam??? smpaikn diorg asik2 mara je ari2... aku pn kdg2 down gak... even bdk2 klas aku xkire la laki n pompuan pn rse bnde yg sme gak... cm hampeh je kdg2... nk nasihat bole...kitorg xksah pn...tp jgn la smpai m'hina n m'ngungkit... saba je la... tension btol aku... xkn la every paper kitorg bwt trok gler??? klau la mmg trok pn bg la advise elok2 sket... tension2!!! skrg ni cm aku plak rse yg aku fail... ish... ble pk2 blik dh xtau nk ckp ape... klas aku je la yg pling trok... klas aku je la yg pling rude... klas aku je la yg pling pasif... n klas laen lak diorg la yg pling bgos... klas diorg la yg pling baek... klas diorg la yg pling pndai... pdhal aku rse lecturers aku xnmpak the fact that bdk2 klas laen 2 dlm klas bole lak b'msg2,b'ym n tah ape2 lg la... bukak laptop time lecture pn lecturer diorg xksah... tp klau lcturer klas aku, bkn stakat laptop tp klau toleh luar klas pn dh tnye what are u looking at??? ish3... tp xpe... 2 mnunjukkn lecturers aku care n syg kn kitorg... tkot r result aku nnti... klau fail mati aku wey... ya allah... tolong lah hambaMu ini... mati kutu dh pk kn psl bende ni sbenanye... 2 la sbb aku mls gak ni bwt post spanjang 2 weeks ni sbenanye...