another day for me...

dah lame rasenye xpost something kat blog nih...rindu plak nk menulis...sepanjang 2 bulan lebih xtulis ni, bnyak bende jd...kat diri aku as well as my friends...buzy dgn study...final ari2, xtau la cmner...tawakal hu alallah je la...sungguh, aku b'serah...i've done my very best...skarang, just doa, doa n doa...mudah-mudahan di kabulkn... jugak, sepanjang "ketiadaan" aku slame 2 bulan nih, aku still mencari2 diri aku...cewahhh...ayat aku poyo jek...hehehe...xde ah...x ke mane pn...aku just try to be a better person...in search for His blessings...xsalah kn? in fact, aku rase lebih tenang...smoge ape yg aku buat slame ni d berkati-Nye...insyaAllah... Alhamdulillah...aku syukur sgt2 sebab aku rase kalau aku tros2 "hanyut" rasenye makin trok kot idop...tp aku ngaku, aku bukannye perfect...aku still buat lapsilap...dgn kwn2 aku, parents n Dia...aku try pasnih x buat silap lg...aku xmo b'janji tkot2 aku xbole nk tunaikan...tp ape yg aku nk janji is i'll try... sbenarnye aku nak rase "kemanisan" hidup...hehe...msti korg ckp, nk manis tambah la gula...hahaha...klau la as simple as that, dh b'kurun dh aku buat...cakap psal kemanisan idop, maksud aku bknnye nk kahwin, b'pasangan ke, berumahtangga ke ape...korg nih...kemanisan idop mksud aku, idup yg di redhai Allah...aku ngaku, sejak tinggal jaoh dr family ni, aku bnyak lalai, lost dlm mengerjakan amal, esp solat...yelah...klau dulu kn ibu n abah slalu soh sembahyang bila masuk time azan...so, nk xnk kne la smbahyang sebab ape? tkot kne marah dgn diorg...trok la aku dulu...solat x ikhlas je...ptutnye aku lbey tkot dgn balasan akhirat tuh...astaghfirullah... skarang, insyaAllah hari2 mendatang aku akan cube sempurnakan tanggungjawab aku sbg seorg muslimah...amal makruf nahi mungkar...insyaAllah...aku akan cube yg t'baek...nak tau knape aku tetibe je t'sedar nih? awal bulan 7 ari2, aku g kem...kem jati diri name die...maktab yg buat...more or less like kem ibadah...okey la...aku t'sedar la jgak dr kelekaan n kesenangan dunie time 2...nak2 time tayangan proses2 nak mati...time nazak...ustazah yg tunjukkn...adoiii...gerun la...punye la seksa nak mati...masyaAllah...mintak2 aku nanti d tempatkn dlm golongan2 yg b'iman...aminnn... lbey kurang sebulan pastu, ade 1 ari ni, aku t'mimpi...yg abah aku dh xde...ape lg, bangon2 je tido tgk air mata kluar...aku rase time tido pn aku nangis kot, sbab bantal aku basah...hmmm...ape lg, pagi2 tu jak before g klas aku call parents aku...aku ckap dgn ibu aku...sbab xbrani nk ckap dgn abah tkot menagis lg...hehe...ibu lg la plik...xpenah2 anak sulung die ni call pg2...alih2 ari2 call...ibu tanye knape, aku mule2 ckp xde ape2...sesaje...tp, hati seorang ibu, nk sorok cmne pn msti tau gak...last2 aku ngaku la yg aku ade mimpi abah dh xde...ibu tros ckp, abah 2 rindukn awak 2...ibu ckp lg, sape suruh lame dh x call...hehe...aku gelak...mmg salah aku pon...lame x call diorg...start dr ari2 la, aku b'azam nk jd a better person...m'jage diri...bak kate sorg lecturer aku...kn parents slalu pesan, nak, jage diri nak...maksud jage diri ni sbenanye bukan stakat jage makan, pakai je...jage diri, t'masuk lah jage solat, study, kurangkn maen2, yg aku rase aku xmementingkan sgt bab2 jage diri yg nih...so, ape lg...aku everytime syaitan nk menyesatkn aku, tros aku ingatkn parents aku...tp kdang2 tu tewas jugak dek nafsu...kn aku dh ckap, aku x perfect... xpelah...pintu taubat masih t'buke...2 satu...n ape yg aku nk ckap ni, harap2 time kwan2 aku bace, korg x terase k...people change...it's true for some people...n knew it as i faced it...aku pn rase diri aku dh laen...bkn b'ubah physically which i know i'm getting bigger...hahaha...xksah la...tp b'ubah dr segi sikap n prangai...maybe i'm wrong...aku tau, diorg jarang denga ckp aku sebab aku slalu je b'perangai cm budak2 bwah umo...hehe...tp at some circumstances je la... hmmm...korang dh laen...ade sorg kawan aku ni ckp "aku b'ubah sbb korg b'ubah"...adoiii...die kate lg "kite kne ikot flow, bknnye against the flow"...adoiii...aku rase la klau aku ikot je flow, makin trok la idop aku...sebab ape? dh ari2 aku gadoh dgn die...so, lame gak la x b'ckap dgn die...dh klau aku ikot je flow, x b'usaha nk b'baek2 dgn die, xke lg b'tambah problem 2? xpham la aku die 2...maybe die bole ckp "aku dh mintak maaf skali dh la...aku bkn jenis yg suke mintak byak2 kali"... tp kan...xsalah...xsalah nk p'baiki hubungan...jangan la pentingkn ego...jgn la selfish...ko xadil la klau cm2...aku slalu ingat pesan ibu aku yg aku rase kdang2 pyah gak nk ikot tp ikot gak la...ibu kate "biar la klau org nk buat jahat kat kite, tp kite jgn balas jahat gak...buat je baek dgn org 2"... 2 yg aku pegang slame nih...xpe la...kire halal la...mlas nk pk...tkot lg sakit ati...so, lbih baek halalkn...kire cm sedekah lah...hehehe...bole plak ek...adoiii...nina2... aku rase gak, slah 1 faktor org b'ubah adlah sbab C.I.N.T.A......kn3? xcaye cube la korg tgk kwn2 korg yg b'cinta x b'landaskan Islam...adoiii...mmg hancussss...adoiii...aku nk nasihat pn pk b'juta2 kali tkot jd salah paham...ape yg aku dpt buat doa je la coz aku xmampu nk halang diorg utk ape2 pn yg diorg buat...aku tau kadang2 pn aku ade gak melebihi batas...sentuh laki...which is aku klau bole xnk dh pasnih sentuh2...aku cube...ni nk b'cinta jgn la melampau2...tau...aku xde hak ckap camni...so, t'pulang la dgn korg...korg pn dh nk masuk 20 thun...dh mumaiyiz...so, fikir la sndiri mane yg baek n mane yg buruk k...aku ckap bende ni jugak buat peringatan utk aku pd mase akan datang before aku masuk dlm liang lahad n before aku naek kereta mayat... =) C.I.N.T.A gak buat org kadang2 lupe kwn...cari kawan time susah...bile ade problem dgn boypren or girlpren, baru nak carik kite...adoiii...ni 1 hal...time susah la baru nk ngadu...ape la salahnye time senang pn cm2 gak? tp xnk la...time senang pn kalau korg crite pasal pasangan korg pn, aku x nk denga...at least kalau kadang2 bole la...ni kalau slalu, boring la weh...cm xde cite laen...tgk Nur Kasih lg baek...hehehe...sebab ape? drpd korg crita bende2 couple2 nih, baek aku bace novel...hahaha... so, in a nutshell...hehehe...in a snail's shell...ape2 lah...aku nk cakap, aku rindukn time dulu2...time sume rapat...seriously, i really2 miss that moments...betol kate someone, kwan2 kat U bkn cm kwn2 kat skola...mcm2 prangai...xpe...ujian utk aku...so, aku redha...aku akan cube perbaiki mane yg kurang dlm diri aku nih...xpe lah...ape2 pn ade quote dr blog favourite aku...>>> "Never trust a Happy Ending story, terutama dari orang yang tak jaga sembahyang..." btol x??? sebab ape? diorg mmg tipu r klau ckp diorg ade happy ending cm lagu avril 2...sebab, dgn Allah pn diorg tipu ni kn sesame manusia...sebab ape aku ckp cmni? sebab kn bende 1st skali yg akn di hisab is sembahyang...so, kalau sembahyang pn x jage, cmne nk bahagie? btol x??? dh la...mlas nk komen lebih2...tkot org ckp, jgn si penulis xbuat dh la...insyaAllah...aku akn cube p'baiki diri aku...aku cube... renung2kn dan slamat b'amal... =)

friends...

someone once said to me...

"kak long, kwn2 kat U bkn cm yg kat skolah..."

still remember that phrase...

well, it's true though...

completely true...

ape2 pn, org 2 ckp lg, jgn ikot org sgt...

pandai2 jage diri...

yg penting, study...ingt family, Allah...

thanks to that person...

=D

ridiculous acts of idiocy...

dgn bangga nye aku nk ckp kt cni yg aku ni mmg keras ati... xksah ape yg org nk pk... muke aku mmg xleh sorok ape yg aku rase...obvious gler... tp nk bwat cmne kn...xkn nk hipokrit... so, to anyone yg penah terase dgn expression aku ni, mntak maaf la bebanyak k... xde intention, n dh muke aku cmni nk bwat cmne... ape2 pn i'm still thinking btol ke ape yg aku bwat nih? still trying to cope wif it...

i'm in an oven...

waaaa...it's so hot here...

panasnye arini...ujan pn beberape titil jek...

dugaan btol dok umah...

dh masak dh aku dok dlm umah ni...

byangkn, time subuh pn b'peluh2...adoiii...

Allahuakhbar...dugaan2...

seb baek la xaffect kulit aku ni...

klau x msti b'tmbah golap la lg...

hehe...

quite sad...

aku baru je bukak page some1...n nampak ade pic...die n a girl...patah ati gak la...wlaupn die comment kat pic 2 yg girl 2 just his classmate, tp cm ade smething jek...siannye aku...sape lah aku kn nk ambik tau hal die...kwn je pon...so, aku xde hak...=(

ape2 pn aku doakn die hepi xksah la ape pn status die skrg...smoge die bahagie...huhu...

cm lagu baru liyana jasmay 2... "aku xpercaya cinta" hehe...at least for this time la...huhu...but i know, at last ade gak some1 utk aku nnti...insyaAllah...

bangkit nina...bangkit!!!

long time no posts...

hehe...lame gler xtulis post baru...sorry...quite buzy n lazy...hehe...anyway, issue aku pd last post ari2 pn dh lame settle...actually, bnyk la yg aku blaja dr p'gadohan 2...1st, don't mess with her...hehe...2nd, it matured me...huhu...although i still have the k'budak2kan attitude...3rd, p'gadohan 2 sbenanye bwatkn aku n kakak aku 2 rapat gler smpai la skrg...which is good 4 my health...hehe...4th, aku dpt abang! hehe...n sbenanye bnyk lg la...after all, aku rse cm klaka la plak...ape xnye, reason gado 2 reason bodo jek...saba je la kn...huhu... aku dok s'wak 2 mne ade sesape slain kwn2...sbenanye ade cousin aku tggl sne...hehe...tp mls la nk mnyusahkn die n family die plak kn...so, kwn2 je la yg aku hrapkn klau ade ape2...kwn2 aku mmg the best in the world lah...hehe...thanks korg...wlaupn korg slalu ragging aku,hehe, tp aku ttp syg korg...huhu... aku dpt gak sorg kakak, sorg abang antare kwn2 aku 2...hehe...dh diorg concern sgt kt aku, aku pn xleh nk bwat cmne dh...aku pn 1, mmg slalu careless...hehe..nk bwat cmne kn, slalunye incident yg ganaz2 2 sume jd ble fikiran aku xstabil...hehe...normal la kn...thank kakak n abang ku...really appreciate things that u guys have done to me...1 bnde yg aku xdpt lupe la abg aku ckp die xkn biarkn aku xleh survive kat NZ nnti...n kakak aku lak ckp dia akan jge aku kat mne2 pon...aku t'kjot gak la diorg ckp cm2...hehe...then, rse b'tuah la plak kn...memandangkn aku xde kakak or abg, diorg mmg sesuai sgt utk jd kakak n abg aku...uhu...thanks korg...=D

i've changed...

for me, it is proven that it takes me only one incident to change me...

am i being to cruel???

i think it was just a misunderstanding...

but as i've done my part>>>apologizing which i thought i'd be somehow 'forgiven' by that person, still i think she didn't forgive me...

i rarely have the 'mood' to have some fun with my friends these days...

sooooo sorrryyyyy guys...

i know u guys are innocent...

i know u guys are affected by my attitude nowadays...

but i couldn't help it...

i just want to be alone...

enough joking....

enough fun...

enough bluffing with me...

enough is enough...

i really want to hear she says something good to me...

not to say in angry tone at least...

really want to hear that...

i admit that i've changed...

things will never be the same after this...

but it's okey coz my family knows me better...

i don't care i u think that i've absorbed all the negative attitudes...

i don't want to care...

it's hurt you know...

it was like my heart have been broken into small small pieces...

and to know that the person you love talk to you like that...

it was hurtful...

really...

am i tooooo cruel????

am i not allowed to be mad at anybody???

is this makes me a bad person???

to that person...........>>>>>

i really apologize for everything...

i admit my mistake...

and i did that unintentionally...

really sorry...

for me, you're still my friend also my sister...

u still do...

i'm not mad at you, i'm just sick of everything...

i want to be alone...

so, let me be...

congratulation b'coz u've succeeded to make me "shylock"...

congratulation...

to all my friends...........>>>>>

thanks for everything...

sorry if u guys are also affected by me...

thanks to be by my side...

i just need to be alone...

please let me be...

exam result + accident

a night before...

tanggal 18 april 2009... mmg ari yg bnyk knangan ah... arini aku dpt result mock exam aku... bole la... marks aku average je... xsmpai pn distinction... sdey gak r... down gak aku td... serabut pale otak... aku akan tebus blik time final exam nnti... akan aku pastikn... PASTI!!!... aku agak down td coz aku rse aku mngecewakn parents aku... wlaupn aku rse parents aku xrase kcewa pn... plik kn...? tah la nape aku jd down gler td... kwn2 aku sume rsau... pdhal right after exam 2 aku dh siap2 mntak maaf kt parents aku ckp maaf tkot aku fail n mngecewakn diorg... aku xfail pn tp tah la... rse b'slah sgt2...cm dh hncurkn harapan diorg... sume incidents dulu yg leads to aku nye rse b'slah sume dtg... sdey gler... n kat parking lot wisma saberkas td... kaki aku nyaris kene accident... prbly b'coz i think toooo much of my result or mybe b'coz i'm really tired... don't know... tp mmg nyaris2 kete iswara 2 nk gelek kaki kanan aku td... kwn aku zery,din,aina n fatin dh cuak gler... agak la...mmg gler la...dpn mate aku kaki aku t'sepit... tp xla smpai kne gelek...dkat2 nk kne gelek je... kete 2 smpat benti...aku trauma la gak... maunye x...tkot gler aku ilang kaki aku...xsanggup!!! plik gler cmne aku bole xnmpak kete 2...mybe sbb t'selindung dgn kete laen kot... kwn aku dh mlintas dlu, tp aku je t'tggal kt blkang coz ade kete 2 nk lalu... then pas kete 2 lalu aku tros la lintas coz ingtkn xde kete laen... tp tetibe lak mncul kete ni...sumpah aku dh pndang dh tp mmg seriously aku xnmpak... then, sandle aku lak mmg licin, jln 2 pn licin, tros aku t'jtuh n kete 2 hampir2 gelek kaki aku... aku pn ape lg, jerit r skuat ati...tros kwn aki si din ni jerit name aku n lari kat aku... kete 2 dh benti dh...n chinese man yg drive kete 2 cuak gak la... aku pn cuak...kaki aku skit ni...x g klinik pn...tah la... kwn aku kte kaki aku cm b'lipat nk ptah time kat bwah kete 2 tp aku rse xla trok cm2 kot... mmg tgh skit kaki ni...adoiii...slah aku gak...mngelamun time 2... yg kwn2 aku g rse b'slah lak coz xjage aku...adoiii...dh sah la slah aku bkn diorg... din ckp die mmg tkot r klau jd ape2 kt aku td... si zery lak slahkn diri sndiri sbb xjge aku... si patin n aina agak cuak gak r time 2... aku time 2 dh t'byang dh yg aku xde sbelah kaki...yg aku kne benti dr stdy, xdpt smbung stdy... taubat aku!!xnk aku...YA ALLAH...aku b'syukur sgt2... mmg gler r td... thanks korg especially zery, din, fatin n aina... aku tau korg tkot+cuak gler td... aku tau korg sygkn aku... aku xdpt jamin la pasni... tp aku akn lg b'hati2...(insyaAllah)xjnji tau...aku ni careless sket... mne xnye...xabes 1 sem ni dh 3 accident aku kne... adoiii... 2 la ksah aku arini... taubat2... gler r...

2 weeks after exam...

2 weeks after exam ni mmg gler ah... most of the days were hectic+crazy+full of magging from the lecturers... mmg gler... aku dh immune dh agaknye dgn kate2 lecturers yg asik2 nk ckp u'll not able to survive if u continue to do your exam like this... adoiii... trok sgt ke bdk2 klas aku n aku bwat exam??? smpaikn diorg asik2 mara je ari2... aku pn kdg2 down gak... even bdk2 klas aku xkire la laki n pompuan pn rse bnde yg sme gak... cm hampeh je kdg2... nk nasihat bole...kitorg xksah pn...tp jgn la smpai m'hina n m'ngungkit... saba je la... tension btol aku... xkn la every paper kitorg bwt trok gler??? klau la mmg trok pn bg la advise elok2 sket... tension2!!! skrg ni cm aku plak rse yg aku fail... ish... ble pk2 blik dh xtau nk ckp ape... klas aku je la yg pling trok... klas aku je la yg pling rude... klas aku je la yg pling pasif... n klas laen lak diorg la yg pling bgos... klas diorg la yg pling baek... klas diorg la yg pling pndai... pdhal aku rse lecturers aku xnmpak the fact that bdk2 klas laen 2 dlm klas bole lak b'msg2,b'ym n tah ape2 lg la... bukak laptop time lecture pn lecturer diorg xksah... tp klau lcturer klas aku, bkn stakat laptop tp klau toleh luar klas pn dh tnye what are u looking at??? ish3... tp xpe... 2 mnunjukkn lecturers aku care n syg kn kitorg... tkot r result aku nnti... klau fail mati aku wey... ya allah... tolong lah hambaMu ini... mati kutu dh pk kn psl bende ni sbenanye... 2 la sbb aku mls gak ni bwt post spanjang 2 weeks ni sbenanye...

exam!!!

exam is next week... straight 4 days... 1 day 1 paper... waaaa... cuak ni 1st time exam kat cni formally... study is my hobby rite now... hehe... most of the time la... wish me luck... moge2 aku b'jaye wif flying colours... insyaAllah...

i'm home...

aku blik umah.... hehehe... bru arini dpt tido kt umah smenjak blik ari2... huhu... blik ni aku kne stdy... xleh nk relax2 jer... sdey btolll... exam dh dkat... adoiiiii... preparation utk exam xbwat pn lagi... adoiii... so,aku kne stat... mntak2 la bole stdy dok umah ni... xleh x stdy... waaaaa... insyaallah... AKU BOLE!!!

guys are???

mcm2 prangai laki aku dh jmpe...adoiii...

kisah pertama...

terbaru aku tgh chat dgn sorg mamat ni...sebok nk jmpe...n sebok nk num phone...pdhal bru je beberape mins chat...ape ke hal la...xde keje laen ke???adoiii...bknnye aku nk kutuk die ke ape, tp agak2 la nk b'kwn pn...xkn la xsmpai sejam chat dh nk ajak jmpe n mntak num phone...ape la...dh ckp ade boypren(tipu jek) pn nk ajak jmpe gak...giler ke ape...adoiii...susa btol...last2 aku sign out...puas ati aku...tenang idop...>>>at least utk beberape jam...huhu...

mamat kisah ke 2 ade dlm pic ni...

kisah ke2... ade sorg mamat ni...kire baek gak la dgn aku...sbb die slalu kacau aku...tp aku xksah pn...enjoy kwn dgn die...aku anggap die mcm abg aku sndiri...classmates aku sume aku dh anggap cm abg2 n kakak2 aku sndiri coz aku xde abg n kakak...so, diorg la jd mangsa...huhuhu...k...b'balik kpd cite mamat ni td...die ni smenjak 2 menjak ni mmg nmpak problem...korek pnye korek ade msalah kewangan...mamt ni jenis yg mmg xsuke mintak duit kat org even kt family die sndiri...die kate xnk mnyusahkn org laen...adoiii...xpn pnjam je la kat aku...nnti byar la blik...tp aku tau, die xkn mntak nye...mmg la sikap die 2 bgus n noble coz xnk mnyusahkn org laen tp jgn la smpai xbli nasi...xmkan...nnti diri sndiri gak yg skit...lg bnyk kne gune duit...dh la kite sume jaoh dr family...so, ape2 hal kwn jgak yg akan tlong... kisah ke3... ade sorg mamat ni...sengal je...senior aku...ade ke ptut kongkong awek die yg jgak kwn aku...every 15mins call...dh 2 plak mara2...tnye ble nk blik...xke sengal...adoiii...ade jak manusia yg cm2...klau awek die 2 kuar dgn kwn2 laki aku bole trime la gak klau die nk call 15mins skali...ni x, kuar dgn kwn pmpuan pn same gak...dh plak 2 tengking2...kwn aku ni punye la baek...ayu...lmah lmbut...ape lg yg mamat 2 nk???xpham btol aku...dh dpt awek yg ckup pakej pn nk kongong lg...dh la kwn aku 2 setia gler...klau aku dpt mamat cm2, aku tinggalkn je...xkuase nk layan lame2...dh la hot-tempered...xingin aku...nk kene blasah dgn aku ade la...sesuke ati die je nk tengking2 org...mmg nk kene r mamat 2...tp aku pn xleh nk bwat ape...dh kwn aku ni syg gler kt die...adoiii...

me n my abah...

kisah ke4... arini 6th march 2009...tau kn...bufday lelaki yg aku pling syg kt dunia ni smpai aku mati...my hero...he is my beloved father...abah aku nye bufday...huhu...HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABAH...sayangggg abah... basically, 2 la kisah2 lelaki dlm idop aku utk arini...aku rmai je kwn laki...tp 2 je la cite laki arini...mcm2 yg jd...ade 1 statement...men are creatures u can't live with, also u can't live without...that is soooooooooooo true...but thanks to all men in my life...every single one that truns out in my life really left me with smething that i can learn...arigato...thank u...ape2 pn, aku xde la mendiskriminasi lelaki...in fact, aku respect diorg...really...

pesal sume org nk majok ni???

nape sume org nk merajuk ni??? xpaham aku... nk2 laki... adoiii... salah ke klau maen2... n b'gurau??? salah ke??? adoiii... ke aku yg lazer sgt??? aku rse xde la melampau sgt pn... sentimentalnye mamat 2.... adoiiiii...

friendship oh friendship...

memory???

friendship...

pesal smenjak 2 menjak ni bnyk btol konflik...???

dugaan btol utk aku...

aku xsuke marah2...

xsuke cari pasal...

xsuke la cmni....

nape dgn sume org ni???

xpham la...

kdg2 bknnye aku xmo lyan org 2 tp its more about their attitude...

i can't pretend that i like them...

i really2 can't...

sorry...

aku bnyk dh sabar...xpe lah...bgos kn sabar...

tp don't expect aku akan sabar slame2nye...

adoiiiiiiiii...

susa la cmni...

nk jd jahat la pasni...

hehehehehehehehe...

bole x?????

jgn la anggap aku ni xreti n xtau nk menilai...

jgn la anggap aku diam maknenye aku stuju sume bende...

n jgn anggap aku xtau nk bezakn baek buruk...

korg sume kn dh besa...

xkn la korg nk aku ckp plak...

pndai2 la pk...

sdey la klau pk psal friendship ni...

i know every person has their own value in themselves...

n aku tau yg seteruk mane pn org 2 tp die ttap ade yg baek dlm diri die...

n i know that every single thing happens for a reason...

sabar lah hati...

kasih ibu & abah...

the most important persons in my life...

terase rndu sgt dgn parents aku...xtau nape...the feeling just suddenly came...rasenye cm aku ni incomplete je tanpe diorg...aku bnyk bwat salah dgn diorg...tp still diorg care psl aku... abah aku seorg yg penyabar...aku admit...ibu aku lg garang sbenanye...ingat lg mase kcik2 dlu dlm darjah 2 kot, aku tgh syok tgk hindustan...(skrg xsuke hindustan sgt coz cite die tah pape...)ibu sruh aku tgkkn air yg die masak kt dapur sbb die nk smayang asar time 2...aku pn ckp la okey...dlm 10 mins 2 die dh 2,3 kali dh warning sruh aku tutup api air yg dh msak 2...tp aku bwat xtau je coz kn aku tgh syok tgk hindustan...huhu...dh 2 agak2 10mins after that, mak aku mengamok...die siap je smayang tros g kat aku cubit...pehhh...skit gler...aku pn ape lg, nangis la...sakit ooo...abah lak time 2 ckp dh la 2...xpyah la cubit kak long(name panggilan aku kt umah) lg...die xsngaje je...then, after b'puluh2 cubitan yg skit gler bru la ibu aku benti...mmg aku gerun...gerun gler dgn ibu aku...tp mlm 2 gak die tlong sapukan minyak gamat kat aku...huhu...syg gak die kt aku...sambil2 die sapu 2 die ckp la laen kali jgn bwat lg...klau org sruh 2 tros la bwat...jgn tangguh2...lpas je insiden 2, everytime ibu aku mngamok aku mmg xbrani nk tegur...nk2 klau aku penyebab die mngamok...adoiii...aku nakal!!!dlu la...hehe... abah plak mmg penyabar...die xkn marah org tanpa sebab yg kuat...sesape je la...senang nk negotiate ape2 dgn die...penah 1 ari, aku bwat ape tah...ibu marah kt aku...time 2 dlm kereta...aku dgn abah je...nk blik umah nenek aku kat seremban...on the way 2 die cite la cmne die jmpe ibu...pas2 die msuk cite yg die ckp la ibu mmg cm2...die ckp lg ibu bwat cm2 b'sebab...xpenah pn ibu mara xb'sebab...die kate laen kali jgn la bwat cm2 lg...aku sdey gler wei...nangis time 2 gak...tunduk je muka aku dlm krete 2...walaupn aku kcik lg tp rasenye cm aku pham ape yg abah n ibu nk sampaikn kt aku... aku ingt la time 2 abah ckp cmni "kak long, harapan ibu dgn abah besar sgt kat kak long...ibu dgn abah nk sgt tgk kak long b'jaye...ibu n abah xde harta utk bg kak long...xde bnyk duit...kak long blaja la rajin2...nanti klau ibu dgn abah dh xde, xde la susah idup kak long...kak long yg paling sulung kene jd contoh...tgk2 kn kak ngah n adik...ibu dgn abah xtau la pnjang mane umur..." aku cpt2 la balas "abah xyah la ckp cm2 lg..."die ckp "btol la...klau dh sampai mase xlah nk ckp cmne lg kn..."pehhh....aku ape lg mmg xbenti la nangis...pdhal dlm kreta je pn...last skali die ckp "ingat pesan abah td...abah tau kak long anak yg baek..." aku tibe2 realize, tnggungjawab aku besar sgt...xpe lah...aku akan cube...dh dkat 10 thun dh since abah nasihat kn aku...aku sedar, tugas aku xsenang...harapan parents aku besar gler...nk2 mmg maksud nama aku 'cahaya harapanku'...mmg diorg terang2 b'harap kat aku...xpe...aku akan cube... still, last year ade 1 insiden yg m'buatkn aku rse yg aku mmg bengong...it hurts me a lot knowing that i made a stupid thing...tu lah 1-1nye bende yg aku pling menyesal...menyesal sgt2...still ibu aku kate "xpe la kak long...bende dh nk jd nk bwat cmne...duit bole cari tp nyawa, keluarge mne nk cari...ibu xmarah kak long..." aku surprise...ibu n abah xmarah pn aku...skit pn x...wlaupn aku rse bnde yg aku bwat 2 serius gler...xpe lah...aku b'azam aku nk balas sume jase2 diorg...wlaupn aku rse mmg xkn t'balas smpai aku mati... smakin aku meningkat dewasa (dewasa la sgt... blom pn 19 thun...), aku mmg amat2 rapat dgn parents aku...aku bole cite ape2 je kat diorg...rase cm kwan baek plak... 3 mggu lpas...aku t'kilan gak la dgn ibu aku...die xbgtau pn yg die sakit...adik aku blik cuti ujung mggu, nru adik aku cite...adik aku ckp "kak long xtau ke yg ibu nk kene kencing manis?ibu xcite ke?dh seminggu lbey dh ibu xshat..."aku ape lg...geram dgn ibu aku...nape la die xckp kat aku yg die skit...m'gigil time mengajar...nape la...tau la die xnk bwat aku rsau tp at least bgtau la aku...aku kn anak sulung...klau bole sume bnde yg jd kt family aku aku nk tau...sbb aku rase tanggungjawab...aku b'hak tau... time 2 aku rse nk nangis je...mmg aku nangis pn...tension gak r...sampai ati ibu xbgtau aku...then pas2 ibu explain la kat aku yg die xnk aku rsau...die kate "kak long xyah rsau la...bknnye ibu xnk bgatu tp ibu xnk kak long pk lebih2...ibu okey..."adoiii...saba je la...mmg aku rsau gler r time 2...every night aku call umah...xsampai ati klau aku xcall... 2 la cite aku...klau nk ikotkn 2 bru 0.02% drpd kejadian2 yg aku lalui dgn family aku...aku bangga dgn diorg...diorg la the best thing that ever happened 2 me...aku xrase yg aku bole survive without all of them...i'm proud 2 be a part of their life...seriously...i'm proud 2 be their daughter...aku b'azam...aku xnk hampakn diorg...sungguh...kasih diorg mmg infinity...

life is not so miserable...

smileeee...

2-3 ari ni...bnyk gak la yg m'bengangkn aku... adoiii...bkn nk mngeluh but sometimes i really couldn't stand with some people yg mmg m'buatkn aku annoyed, mnyampah n geli tgk diorg...cm hampeh je feeling 2...xsuke r...attitude diorg 2 yg m'nyampahkn aku...dh 2 plak cm t'gedik2 jek... am i getting more cruel???my friends said so...yeke?aku pn rse cm2 gak...bkn ape...aku penat jd t'lalu innocent...bkn nk puji dri tp slagi aku bole sabar aku sabar...tp skali aku ilang sabar, aku akan jd jahat gler...mnyampah r...xsuke!!!xsuke dgn perangai yg tah pape...xsuke org cm sengaje bwat gedik2...xsuke dgn prangai yg plastik...xsuke dgn kate2 mereke yg t'amat lah xsopan!!! aku xsuke kritik org sbenanye...tp kdg2 prangai org2 2 yg m;bwatkn aku xthan...n aku rse nk m'kritik je skrg...agak2 la sket...pk la dlu sblm bwat smething...ni maen ckp or bwat jek...skit ati aku...mmg obvious aku mnyampah...xtau nk ckp cmne lg...nk je aku ckp face to face...tp aku pn ade maruah gak...dh besar sume...rasenye diorg pn tau cmne nk bezakn bnde baek n bnde buruk...leceh r...pndai2 la take charge life sndiri...xkn nk rely kt org laen yg nk tego ape2 yg xptt...karang ckp mnyebok plak...ngengade btol...aku xmo la jd cm2...ish3333...dh la...mls nk pk...lntak la...ape nk jd dgn diorg pn jd la...jnji DON'T DISTURB MY LIFE!!! 2-3 ari lpas gak kwn aku nk sdey...adoiii...ade sorg minah ni kacau kwn aku smpai bwat mak kwn aku ni msuk icu...hampeh btol...ade ke ptt...xpham la aku dgn minah 2...dh dpt ape yg die nk xyah la nk kacau kwn aku lg...agaknye keintelektualan die mmg kureng kot...nk kate aku ni kejam sgt, aku xrase cm2...aku ckp cmi pn ade sbb...bkn aku memandai je nk kritik org...bodoh la aku kn klau bwat cm2...xpham2...wlaupn minah 2 kaum aku gak tp die 2 tah pape...mmg IQ die rndah kot...(2 conclusion aku dgn kwn2 aku...) mmg mencabar la 2-3 ari ni...aku nye life xde la miserable wlaupn kdg i think it's true...but when we know how to deal with the probs i think it's not as hard as we think it will be...so, kpd sesape je yg tgh melalui difficult times cm aku (xlah susah sgt sbenanye), dont ever give up...redah je...xpyah pk deeply...just try to live ur life to the fullest...wlaupn aku nk bnyk probs, aku still bole ktawa...gelak2 gler2 lg...coz i can't stand to be so miserable 4 a long time...pling lame pn aku penah sdey 3 ari...pas2 dh mls nk sdey2...penat...seriously penat... live ur life to the fullest k...its time 4 me to go to sleep... babai...

a hot night...or morning i guess...

waaa...panasnye mlm ni...dh dkat kul 2 pg...so, duduknye aku kat atas katilku yg "mmg empuk" ni b'sengkang mate menggunting huruf2 utk dilekatkn kat poster utk exhibition nast tuesday...adoiii...bnyk gler huruf...bknnye aku nk complain or mengeluh tp just ni b'kongsi rase...haha...ceh... di pg yg panas ni (mmg skrg musim panas kt kch ni..td pn ujan skejap sgt)akugn laptop kesayanganku b'sengkang mate togather gather n b'hempas pulas utk mnyiapkn pengguntingan huruf nih...saba ye laptop...hehe...n bkn 2 saje...aku jeles tgk rumate aku yg sodap tido ni...adoiii...teman la akuuuuu...tp xpe...demi mase depan negara aku sanggup!!!poyo jek...nina2... haaa...aku bru t'sedar yg aku bwat blog ni on valentine's day...adoi...ape significant nye?tah...xde pon...aku maen buat je...xde simbolik paper k...since aku pn xpenah t'ikat dgn mne2 laki or intimate relationship (xde la intimate sgt pn...sje bwat statement gempak sket...huhu) or 'hubungan rapat dgn somebody aku rse xde pape yg special pon ari valentine ni...same jek aku tgk...cume ape yg extraordinarynye, gerai makan arini aku rse msti dpt profit yg b'lipat ganda...bkn stakat b'lipat je tp b'bakul2 n b'guni2 lg sbb aku tgk rmai gler org yg mkan kt tmpat aku n geng2 aku mkan td...tp xpe lah...alhamdulillah...dh rzeki diorg...aku tompang hepi... arini gak kwn aku sdey...adik aku pn sdey gak...sumenye psal laki...xyah la aku ckp nape tp ckup klau ckp dh xde jdoh kot...i'm not dr love or some1 who are expert in this particular area as i'm going to be in the teaching profession insyaallah...but, as a friend and a sister, i just wan to say, it's no use to be miserable...let bygones be bygones k...mmg la aku kne admit yg mmg susah nk lupekn some1 yg kite syg but there's a saying "if you love someone, let him/her go..." that is sooooo true...aku mmg xpenah melalui fasa 2 tp ingat la yg there will be someone better n suit u more in the future...kn...???takdir ni bkn bole dijangka...kdg2 org yg kte knal skrg pn bole jd jdoh kte 1 day kn... kpd korg b'dua... jgn sdey2... don't let go the memories but let him go is the must!!! there'll be some1 better...believe it... don't ever talk about that guy!!!(at least in front of me...>>>don't like) kpd korg2 yg laen...whether yg in love or not yet in love like me...hehehe...ame2 lah kite syg mnyayangi...hehe...aku m'offerkn diri ni tau...hehe...means jgn la ade rse yg -ve towards others...sape la kite kn...sbb u'll get back what u give kn... bsok aku nk kuar lg...bli barang sket n jlan2 sket...bynk sbenanye...huhu... k la...nk smbung keje aku yg t'postponed ni...hehe...aku ni merosakkn bhase jek...adoiii...hehe... =D

pending or not to be pending

aku ni famous la gak...poyo gler...haha...tp antara kwn2 aku jek...hehehe...sbb diorg ckp aku ni slalu je pending...yeke?btol ke ek?aku admit la yg mmg kdg2 aku ni pending but in the sense of bende2 kecik cm gosip2 kcik or smething yg xptg sgt bg aku...hehe... penting ke utk x jd pending? aku pn slalu t'tanye2 gak tp smpai skrg x t'jwb lg soklan aku 2...adoiii...cth kependingan aku...ade 1 ari ni, aku n de geng (ceh...) borak2 la psl gosip ni...aku pn lyan la...borak2 gak...mnyampuk sket2...hehe...then, balik bilik...borak2 lg...dgn rumate aku...n sorg lg kwn aku...si rumate aku n kwn aku ni borak2 psal cite yg diorg borak td...aku pn mls nk denga coz bende yg same...so, aku pn bwat la keje aku...dh lame sket, diorg tnye aku..."nina, ko rse kn nape bla2 ni nk bla2?"...aku pn dgn blur nye ckp la "ha???" yg smemangnye jd trademark aku...aku pn ckp la "mende?"...sbb actually aku dh lupe ape cite diorg 2... kdg2 kn aku t'pk nape la aku ni snang sgt nk lupe bnde2 cm2...mmg la xpenting tp bile diorg cite blik aku rse cm ketinggalan zaman jek...adoiii...aku bnyk sgt mkan kpale ikan ke ek?aku rse smenjak aku blik kuching ni bru skali je aku mkan ikan...xpulak aku ambik bhgian kpale... tah la...pending2 aku ni pn aku kdg2 alert gak tau...(nk gak puji dri sndiri...hehehe...)ape xnye, kdg2 all probs that came out, aku dpt handle...haha...sbb kependingan aku ni act membantu aku utk xpk sgt bende2 remeh temeh ni...hehe...cewah...bwat berat kpale otak aku je...dh la kpale aku ni mmg dh t'overload oleh info2 yg b'gune (ceh...) n slebihnye yg xb'usik pn...hehe... adoi...tp don't worry...aku stil aku...ni lah aku...xleh nk ubah dh aku rse...2 la yg m'bwatkn aku jd aku...yela...xkn la aku tuka jd org laen lak kn...xnk r...aku hepi dgn dri aku walaupn aku slalu je bwat silap...adat la kn...nobody's perfect anyway...

1st entry ku...

salam... ni 1st entry aku...huhu...dah lame dh nk bwat blog sbenanye tp bru skarang t'makbul hasrat 2...hehe...buzy r...tp dh alang2 aku xde keje ni kn, so t'pk nk melalut la plak kt cni...so, to anyone who is interested to share any ideas, opinions n anything, just say it k...xde sape nk mara except ape2 yg inappropriate k...luahan prasaan, buah fikiran n ape2 je yg bole dijana oleh otak anda, bolelah dikemukakan kpd sy ye...nk gak tau...hehe...bkn nk mnyebok tp just being alert...hehe...sbb kwn2 aku ckp aku ni pending...yeke?don't know...but sometimes it's good to be pending n knows nothing than knows everything kn?bwat pening pale jek... sudi2 la menjenguk blog ni ey... n komen ape2 yg patut...