i've changed...

for me, it is proven that it takes me only one incident to change me...

am i being to cruel???

i think it was just a misunderstanding...

but as i've done my part>>>apologizing which i thought i'd be somehow 'forgiven' by that person, still i think she didn't forgive me...

i rarely have the 'mood' to have some fun with my friends these days...

sooooo sorrryyyyy guys...

i know u guys are innocent...

i know u guys are affected by my attitude nowadays...

but i couldn't help it...

i just want to be alone...

enough joking....

enough fun...

enough bluffing with me...

enough is enough...

i really want to hear she says something good to me...

not to say in angry tone at least...

really want to hear that...

i admit that i've changed...

things will never be the same after this...

but it's okey coz my family knows me better...

i don't care i u think that i've absorbed all the negative attitudes...

i don't want to care...

it's hurt you know...

it was like my heart have been broken into small small pieces...

and to know that the person you love talk to you like that...

it was hurtful...

really...

am i tooooo cruel????

am i not allowed to be mad at anybody???

is this makes me a bad person???

to that person...........>>>>>

i really apologize for everything...

i admit my mistake...

and i did that unintentionally...

really sorry...

for me, you're still my friend also my sister...

u still do...

i'm not mad at you, i'm just sick of everything...

i want to be alone...

so, let me be...

congratulation b'coz u've succeeded to make me "shylock"...

congratulation...

to all my friends...........>>>>>

thanks for everything...

sorry if u guys are also affected by me...

thanks to be by my side...

i just need to be alone...

please let me be...

exam result + accident

a night before...

tanggal 18 april 2009... mmg ari yg bnyk knangan ah... arini aku dpt result mock exam aku... bole la... marks aku average je... xsmpai pn distinction... sdey gak r... down gak aku td... serabut pale otak... aku akan tebus blik time final exam nnti... akan aku pastikn... PASTI!!!... aku agak down td coz aku rse aku mngecewakn parents aku... wlaupn aku rse parents aku xrase kcewa pn... plik kn...? tah la nape aku jd down gler td... kwn2 aku sume rsau... pdhal right after exam 2 aku dh siap2 mntak maaf kt parents aku ckp maaf tkot aku fail n mngecewakn diorg... aku xfail pn tp tah la... rse b'slah sgt2...cm dh hncurkn harapan diorg... sume incidents dulu yg leads to aku nye rse b'slah sume dtg... sdey gler... n kat parking lot wisma saberkas td... kaki aku nyaris kene accident... prbly b'coz i think toooo much of my result or mybe b'coz i'm really tired... don't know... tp mmg nyaris2 kete iswara 2 nk gelek kaki kanan aku td... kwn aku zery,din,aina n fatin dh cuak gler... agak la...mmg gler la...dpn mate aku kaki aku t'sepit... tp xla smpai kne gelek...dkat2 nk kne gelek je... kete 2 smpat benti...aku trauma la gak... maunye x...tkot gler aku ilang kaki aku...xsanggup!!! plik gler cmne aku bole xnmpak kete 2...mybe sbb t'selindung dgn kete laen kot... kwn aku dh mlintas dlu, tp aku je t'tggal kt blkang coz ade kete 2 nk lalu... then pas kete 2 lalu aku tros la lintas coz ingtkn xde kete laen... tp tetibe lak mncul kete ni...sumpah aku dh pndang dh tp mmg seriously aku xnmpak... then, sandle aku lak mmg licin, jln 2 pn licin, tros aku t'jtuh n kete 2 hampir2 gelek kaki aku... aku pn ape lg, jerit r skuat ati...tros kwn aki si din ni jerit name aku n lari kat aku... kete 2 dh benti dh...n chinese man yg drive kete 2 cuak gak la... aku pn cuak...kaki aku skit ni...x g klinik pn...tah la... kwn aku kte kaki aku cm b'lipat nk ptah time kat bwah kete 2 tp aku rse xla trok cm2 kot... mmg tgh skit kaki ni...adoiii...slah aku gak...mngelamun time 2... yg kwn2 aku g rse b'slah lak coz xjage aku...adoiii...dh sah la slah aku bkn diorg... din ckp die mmg tkot r klau jd ape2 kt aku td... si zery lak slahkn diri sndiri sbb xjge aku... si patin n aina agak cuak gak r time 2... aku time 2 dh t'byang dh yg aku xde sbelah kaki...yg aku kne benti dr stdy, xdpt smbung stdy... taubat aku!!xnk aku...YA ALLAH...aku b'syukur sgt2... mmg gler r td... thanks korg especially zery, din, fatin n aina... aku tau korg tkot+cuak gler td... aku tau korg sygkn aku... aku xdpt jamin la pasni... tp aku akn lg b'hati2...(insyaAllah)xjnji tau...aku ni careless sket... mne xnye...xabes 1 sem ni dh 3 accident aku kne... adoiii... 2 la ksah aku arini... taubat2... gler r...

2 weeks after exam...

2 weeks after exam ni mmg gler ah... most of the days were hectic+crazy+full of magging from the lecturers... mmg gler... aku dh immune dh agaknye dgn kate2 lecturers yg asik2 nk ckp u'll not able to survive if u continue to do your exam like this... adoiii... trok sgt ke bdk2 klas aku n aku bwat exam??? smpaikn diorg asik2 mara je ari2... aku pn kdg2 down gak... even bdk2 klas aku xkire la laki n pompuan pn rse bnde yg sme gak... cm hampeh je kdg2... nk nasihat bole...kitorg xksah pn...tp jgn la smpai m'hina n m'ngungkit... saba je la... tension btol aku... xkn la every paper kitorg bwt trok gler??? klau la mmg trok pn bg la advise elok2 sket... tension2!!! skrg ni cm aku plak rse yg aku fail... ish... ble pk2 blik dh xtau nk ckp ape... klas aku je la yg pling trok... klas aku je la yg pling rude... klas aku je la yg pling pasif... n klas laen lak diorg la yg pling bgos... klas diorg la yg pling baek... klas diorg la yg pling pndai... pdhal aku rse lecturers aku xnmpak the fact that bdk2 klas laen 2 dlm klas bole lak b'msg2,b'ym n tah ape2 lg la... bukak laptop time lecture pn lecturer diorg xksah... tp klau lcturer klas aku, bkn stakat laptop tp klau toleh luar klas pn dh tnye what are u looking at??? ish3... tp xpe... 2 mnunjukkn lecturers aku care n syg kn kitorg... tkot r result aku nnti... klau fail mati aku wey... ya allah... tolong lah hambaMu ini... mati kutu dh pk kn psl bende ni sbenanye... 2 la sbb aku mls gak ni bwt post spanjang 2 weeks ni sbenanye...

exam!!!

exam is next week... straight 4 days... 1 day 1 paper... waaaa... cuak ni 1st time exam kat cni formally... study is my hobby rite now... hehe... most of the time la... wish me luck... moge2 aku b'jaye wif flying colours... insyaAllah...

i'm home...

aku blik umah.... hehehe... bru arini dpt tido kt umah smenjak blik ari2... huhu... blik ni aku kne stdy... xleh nk relax2 jer... sdey btolll... exam dh dkat... adoiiiii... preparation utk exam xbwat pn lagi... adoiii... so,aku kne stat... mntak2 la bole stdy dok umah ni... xleh x stdy... waaaaa... insyaallah... AKU BOLE!!!

guys are???

mcm2 prangai laki aku dh jmpe...adoiii...

kisah pertama...

terbaru aku tgh chat dgn sorg mamat ni...sebok nk jmpe...n sebok nk num phone...pdhal bru je beberape mins chat...ape ke hal la...xde keje laen ke???adoiii...bknnye aku nk kutuk die ke ape, tp agak2 la nk b'kwn pn...xkn la xsmpai sejam chat dh nk ajak jmpe n mntak num phone...ape la...dh ckp ade boypren(tipu jek) pn nk ajak jmpe gak...giler ke ape...adoiii...susa btol...last2 aku sign out...puas ati aku...tenang idop...>>>at least utk beberape jam...huhu...

mamat kisah ke 2 ade dlm pic ni...

kisah ke2... ade sorg mamat ni...kire baek gak la dgn aku...sbb die slalu kacau aku...tp aku xksah pn...enjoy kwn dgn die...aku anggap die mcm abg aku sndiri...classmates aku sume aku dh anggap cm abg2 n kakak2 aku sndiri coz aku xde abg n kakak...so, diorg la jd mangsa...huhuhu...k...b'balik kpd cite mamat ni td...die ni smenjak 2 menjak ni mmg nmpak problem...korek pnye korek ade msalah kewangan...mamt ni jenis yg mmg xsuke mintak duit kat org even kt family die sndiri...die kate xnk mnyusahkn org laen...adoiii...xpn pnjam je la kat aku...nnti byar la blik...tp aku tau, die xkn mntak nye...mmg la sikap die 2 bgus n noble coz xnk mnyusahkn org laen tp jgn la smpai xbli nasi...xmkan...nnti diri sndiri gak yg skit...lg bnyk kne gune duit...dh la kite sume jaoh dr family...so, ape2 hal kwn jgak yg akan tlong... kisah ke3... ade sorg mamat ni...sengal je...senior aku...ade ke ptut kongkong awek die yg jgak kwn aku...every 15mins call...dh 2 plak mara2...tnye ble nk blik...xke sengal...adoiii...ade jak manusia yg cm2...klau awek die 2 kuar dgn kwn2 laki aku bole trime la gak klau die nk call 15mins skali...ni x, kuar dgn kwn pmpuan pn same gak...dh plak 2 tengking2...kwn aku ni punye la baek...ayu...lmah lmbut...ape lg yg mamat 2 nk???xpham btol aku...dh dpt awek yg ckup pakej pn nk kongong lg...dh la kwn aku 2 setia gler...klau aku dpt mamat cm2, aku tinggalkn je...xkuase nk layan lame2...dh la hot-tempered...xingin aku...nk kene blasah dgn aku ade la...sesuke ati die je nk tengking2 org...mmg nk kene r mamat 2...tp aku pn xleh nk bwat ape...dh kwn aku ni syg gler kt die...adoiii...

me n my abah...

kisah ke4... arini 6th march 2009...tau kn...bufday lelaki yg aku pling syg kt dunia ni smpai aku mati...my hero...he is my beloved father...abah aku nye bufday...huhu...HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABAH...sayangggg abah... basically, 2 la kisah2 lelaki dlm idop aku utk arini...aku rmai je kwn laki...tp 2 je la cite laki arini...mcm2 yg jd...ade 1 statement...men are creatures u can't live with, also u can't live without...that is soooooooooooo true...but thanks to all men in my life...every single one that truns out in my life really left me with smething that i can learn...arigato...thank u...ape2 pn, aku xde la mendiskriminasi lelaki...in fact, aku respect diorg...really...

pesal sume org nk majok ni???

nape sume org nk merajuk ni??? xpaham aku... nk2 laki... adoiii... salah ke klau maen2... n b'gurau??? salah ke??? adoiii... ke aku yg lazer sgt??? aku rse xde la melampau sgt pn... sentimentalnye mamat 2.... adoiiiii...