friendship oh friendship...

memory???

friendship...

pesal smenjak 2 menjak ni bnyk btol konflik...???

dugaan btol utk aku...

aku xsuke marah2...

xsuke cari pasal...

xsuke la cmni....

nape dgn sume org ni???

xpham la...

kdg2 bknnye aku xmo lyan org 2 tp its more about their attitude...

i can't pretend that i like them...

i really2 can't...

sorry...

aku bnyk dh sabar...xpe lah...bgos kn sabar...

tp don't expect aku akan sabar slame2nye...

adoiiiiiiiii...

susa la cmni...

nk jd jahat la pasni...

hehehehehehehehe...

bole x?????

jgn la anggap aku ni xreti n xtau nk menilai...

jgn la anggap aku diam maknenye aku stuju sume bende...

n jgn anggap aku xtau nk bezakn baek buruk...

korg sume kn dh besa...

xkn la korg nk aku ckp plak...

pndai2 la pk...

sdey la klau pk psal friendship ni...

i know every person has their own value in themselves...

n aku tau yg seteruk mane pn org 2 tp die ttap ade yg baek dlm diri die...

n i know that every single thing happens for a reason...

sabar lah hati...

kasih ibu & abah...

the most important persons in my life...

terase rndu sgt dgn parents aku...xtau nape...the feeling just suddenly came...rasenye cm aku ni incomplete je tanpe diorg...aku bnyk bwat salah dgn diorg...tp still diorg care psl aku... abah aku seorg yg penyabar...aku admit...ibu aku lg garang sbenanye...ingat lg mase kcik2 dlu dlm darjah 2 kot, aku tgh syok tgk hindustan...(skrg xsuke hindustan sgt coz cite die tah pape...)ibu sruh aku tgkkn air yg die masak kt dapur sbb die nk smayang asar time 2...aku pn ckp la okey...dlm 10 mins 2 die dh 2,3 kali dh warning sruh aku tutup api air yg dh msak 2...tp aku bwat xtau je coz kn aku tgh syok tgk hindustan...huhu...dh 2 agak2 10mins after that, mak aku mengamok...die siap je smayang tros g kat aku cubit...pehhh...skit gler...aku pn ape lg, nangis la...sakit ooo...abah lak time 2 ckp dh la 2...xpyah la cubit kak long(name panggilan aku kt umah) lg...die xsngaje je...then, after b'puluh2 cubitan yg skit gler bru la ibu aku benti...mmg aku gerun...gerun gler dgn ibu aku...tp mlm 2 gak die tlong sapukan minyak gamat kat aku...huhu...syg gak die kt aku...sambil2 die sapu 2 die ckp la laen kali jgn bwat lg...klau org sruh 2 tros la bwat...jgn tangguh2...lpas je insiden 2, everytime ibu aku mngamok aku mmg xbrani nk tegur...nk2 klau aku penyebab die mngamok...adoiii...aku nakal!!!dlu la...hehe... abah plak mmg penyabar...die xkn marah org tanpa sebab yg kuat...sesape je la...senang nk negotiate ape2 dgn die...penah 1 ari, aku bwat ape tah...ibu marah kt aku...time 2 dlm kereta...aku dgn abah je...nk blik umah nenek aku kat seremban...on the way 2 die cite la cmne die jmpe ibu...pas2 die msuk cite yg die ckp la ibu mmg cm2...die ckp lg ibu bwat cm2 b'sebab...xpenah pn ibu mara xb'sebab...die kate laen kali jgn la bwat cm2 lg...aku sdey gler wei...nangis time 2 gak...tunduk je muka aku dlm krete 2...walaupn aku kcik lg tp rasenye cm aku pham ape yg abah n ibu nk sampaikn kt aku... aku ingt la time 2 abah ckp cmni "kak long, harapan ibu dgn abah besar sgt kat kak long...ibu dgn abah nk sgt tgk kak long b'jaye...ibu n abah xde harta utk bg kak long...xde bnyk duit...kak long blaja la rajin2...nanti klau ibu dgn abah dh xde, xde la susah idup kak long...kak long yg paling sulung kene jd contoh...tgk2 kn kak ngah n adik...ibu dgn abah xtau la pnjang mane umur..." aku cpt2 la balas "abah xyah la ckp cm2 lg..."die ckp "btol la...klau dh sampai mase xlah nk ckp cmne lg kn..."pehhh....aku ape lg mmg xbenti la nangis...pdhal dlm kreta je pn...last skali die ckp "ingat pesan abah td...abah tau kak long anak yg baek..." aku tibe2 realize, tnggungjawab aku besar sgt...xpe lah...aku akan cube...dh dkat 10 thun dh since abah nasihat kn aku...aku sedar, tugas aku xsenang...harapan parents aku besar gler...nk2 mmg maksud nama aku 'cahaya harapanku'...mmg diorg terang2 b'harap kat aku...xpe...aku akan cube... still, last year ade 1 insiden yg m'buatkn aku rse yg aku mmg bengong...it hurts me a lot knowing that i made a stupid thing...tu lah 1-1nye bende yg aku pling menyesal...menyesal sgt2...still ibu aku kate "xpe la kak long...bende dh nk jd nk bwat cmne...duit bole cari tp nyawa, keluarge mne nk cari...ibu xmarah kak long..." aku surprise...ibu n abah xmarah pn aku...skit pn x...wlaupn aku rse bnde yg aku bwat 2 serius gler...xpe lah...aku b'azam aku nk balas sume jase2 diorg...wlaupn aku rse mmg xkn t'balas smpai aku mati... smakin aku meningkat dewasa (dewasa la sgt... blom pn 19 thun...), aku mmg amat2 rapat dgn parents aku...aku bole cite ape2 je kat diorg...rase cm kwan baek plak... 3 mggu lpas...aku t'kilan gak la dgn ibu aku...die xbgtau pn yg die sakit...adik aku blik cuti ujung mggu, nru adik aku cite...adik aku ckp "kak long xtau ke yg ibu nk kene kencing manis?ibu xcite ke?dh seminggu lbey dh ibu xshat..."aku ape lg...geram dgn ibu aku...nape la die xckp kat aku yg die skit...m'gigil time mengajar...nape la...tau la die xnk bwat aku rsau tp at least bgtau la aku...aku kn anak sulung...klau bole sume bnde yg jd kt family aku aku nk tau...sbb aku rase tanggungjawab...aku b'hak tau... time 2 aku rse nk nangis je...mmg aku nangis pn...tension gak r...sampai ati ibu xbgtau aku...then pas2 ibu explain la kat aku yg die xnk aku rsau...die kate "kak long xyah rsau la...bknnye ibu xnk bgatu tp ibu xnk kak long pk lebih2...ibu okey..."adoiii...saba je la...mmg aku rsau gler r time 2...every night aku call umah...xsampai ati klau aku xcall... 2 la cite aku...klau nk ikotkn 2 bru 0.02% drpd kejadian2 yg aku lalui dgn family aku...aku bangga dgn diorg...diorg la the best thing that ever happened 2 me...aku xrase yg aku bole survive without all of them...i'm proud 2 be a part of their life...seriously...i'm proud 2 be their daughter...aku b'azam...aku xnk hampakn diorg...sungguh...kasih diorg mmg infinity...

life is not so miserable...

smileeee...

2-3 ari ni...bnyk gak la yg m'bengangkn aku... adoiii...bkn nk mngeluh but sometimes i really couldn't stand with some people yg mmg m'buatkn aku annoyed, mnyampah n geli tgk diorg...cm hampeh je feeling 2...xsuke r...attitude diorg 2 yg m'nyampahkn aku...dh 2 plak cm t'gedik2 jek... am i getting more cruel???my friends said so...yeke?aku pn rse cm2 gak...bkn ape...aku penat jd t'lalu innocent...bkn nk puji dri tp slagi aku bole sabar aku sabar...tp skali aku ilang sabar, aku akan jd jahat gler...mnyampah r...xsuke!!!xsuke dgn perangai yg tah pape...xsuke org cm sengaje bwat gedik2...xsuke dgn prangai yg plastik...xsuke dgn kate2 mereke yg t'amat lah xsopan!!! aku xsuke kritik org sbenanye...tp kdg2 prangai org2 2 yg m;bwatkn aku xthan...n aku rse nk m'kritik je skrg...agak2 la sket...pk la dlu sblm bwat smething...ni maen ckp or bwat jek...skit ati aku...mmg obvious aku mnyampah...xtau nk ckp cmne lg...nk je aku ckp face to face...tp aku pn ade maruah gak...dh besar sume...rasenye diorg pn tau cmne nk bezakn bnde baek n bnde buruk...leceh r...pndai2 la take charge life sndiri...xkn nk rely kt org laen yg nk tego ape2 yg xptt...karang ckp mnyebok plak...ngengade btol...aku xmo la jd cm2...ish3333...dh la...mls nk pk...lntak la...ape nk jd dgn diorg pn jd la...jnji DON'T DISTURB MY LIFE!!! 2-3 ari lpas gak kwn aku nk sdey...adoiii...ade sorg minah ni kacau kwn aku smpai bwat mak kwn aku ni msuk icu...hampeh btol...ade ke ptt...xpham la aku dgn minah 2...dh dpt ape yg die nk xyah la nk kacau kwn aku lg...agaknye keintelektualan die mmg kureng kot...nk kate aku ni kejam sgt, aku xrase cm2...aku ckp cmi pn ade sbb...bkn aku memandai je nk kritik org...bodoh la aku kn klau bwat cm2...xpham2...wlaupn minah 2 kaum aku gak tp die 2 tah pape...mmg IQ die rndah kot...(2 conclusion aku dgn kwn2 aku...) mmg mencabar la 2-3 ari ni...aku nye life xde la miserable wlaupn kdg i think it's true...but when we know how to deal with the probs i think it's not as hard as we think it will be...so, kpd sesape je yg tgh melalui difficult times cm aku (xlah susah sgt sbenanye), dont ever give up...redah je...xpyah pk deeply...just try to live ur life to the fullest...wlaupn aku nk bnyk probs, aku still bole ktawa...gelak2 gler2 lg...coz i can't stand to be so miserable 4 a long time...pling lame pn aku penah sdey 3 ari...pas2 dh mls nk sdey2...penat...seriously penat... live ur life to the fullest k...its time 4 me to go to sleep... babai...

a hot night...or morning i guess...

waaa...panasnye mlm ni...dh dkat kul 2 pg...so, duduknye aku kat atas katilku yg "mmg empuk" ni b'sengkang mate menggunting huruf2 utk dilekatkn kat poster utk exhibition nast tuesday...adoiii...bnyk gler huruf...bknnye aku nk complain or mengeluh tp just ni b'kongsi rase...haha...ceh... di pg yg panas ni (mmg skrg musim panas kt kch ni..td pn ujan skejap sgt)akugn laptop kesayanganku b'sengkang mate togather gather n b'hempas pulas utk mnyiapkn pengguntingan huruf nih...saba ye laptop...hehe...n bkn 2 saje...aku jeles tgk rumate aku yg sodap tido ni...adoiii...teman la akuuuuu...tp xpe...demi mase depan negara aku sanggup!!!poyo jek...nina2... haaa...aku bru t'sedar yg aku bwat blog ni on valentine's day...adoi...ape significant nye?tah...xde pon...aku maen buat je...xde simbolik paper k...since aku pn xpenah t'ikat dgn mne2 laki or intimate relationship (xde la intimate sgt pn...sje bwat statement gempak sket...huhu) or 'hubungan rapat dgn somebody aku rse xde pape yg special pon ari valentine ni...same jek aku tgk...cume ape yg extraordinarynye, gerai makan arini aku rse msti dpt profit yg b'lipat ganda...bkn stakat b'lipat je tp b'bakul2 n b'guni2 lg sbb aku tgk rmai gler org yg mkan kt tmpat aku n geng2 aku mkan td...tp xpe lah...alhamdulillah...dh rzeki diorg...aku tompang hepi... arini gak kwn aku sdey...adik aku pn sdey gak...sumenye psal laki...xyah la aku ckp nape tp ckup klau ckp dh xde jdoh kot...i'm not dr love or some1 who are expert in this particular area as i'm going to be in the teaching profession insyaallah...but, as a friend and a sister, i just wan to say, it's no use to be miserable...let bygones be bygones k...mmg la aku kne admit yg mmg susah nk lupekn some1 yg kite syg but there's a saying "if you love someone, let him/her go..." that is sooooo true...aku mmg xpenah melalui fasa 2 tp ingat la yg there will be someone better n suit u more in the future...kn...???takdir ni bkn bole dijangka...kdg2 org yg kte knal skrg pn bole jd jdoh kte 1 day kn... kpd korg b'dua... jgn sdey2... don't let go the memories but let him go is the must!!! there'll be some1 better...believe it... don't ever talk about that guy!!!(at least in front of me...>>>don't like) kpd korg2 yg laen...whether yg in love or not yet in love like me...hehehe...ame2 lah kite syg mnyayangi...hehe...aku m'offerkn diri ni tau...hehe...means jgn la ade rse yg -ve towards others...sape la kite kn...sbb u'll get back what u give kn... bsok aku nk kuar lg...bli barang sket n jlan2 sket...bynk sbenanye...huhu... k la...nk smbung keje aku yg t'postponed ni...hehe...aku ni merosakkn bhase jek...adoiii...hehe... =D

pending or not to be pending

aku ni famous la gak...poyo gler...haha...tp antara kwn2 aku jek...hehehe...sbb diorg ckp aku ni slalu je pending...yeke?btol ke ek?aku admit la yg mmg kdg2 aku ni pending but in the sense of bende2 kecik cm gosip2 kcik or smething yg xptg sgt bg aku...hehe... penting ke utk x jd pending? aku pn slalu t'tanye2 gak tp smpai skrg x t'jwb lg soklan aku 2...adoiii...cth kependingan aku...ade 1 ari ni, aku n de geng (ceh...) borak2 la psl gosip ni...aku pn lyan la...borak2 gak...mnyampuk sket2...hehe...then, balik bilik...borak2 lg...dgn rumate aku...n sorg lg kwn aku...si rumate aku n kwn aku ni borak2 psal cite yg diorg borak td...aku pn mls nk denga coz bende yg same...so, aku pn bwat la keje aku...dh lame sket, diorg tnye aku..."nina, ko rse kn nape bla2 ni nk bla2?"...aku pn dgn blur nye ckp la "ha???" yg smemangnye jd trademark aku...aku pn ckp la "mende?"...sbb actually aku dh lupe ape cite diorg 2... kdg2 kn aku t'pk nape la aku ni snang sgt nk lupe bnde2 cm2...mmg la xpenting tp bile diorg cite blik aku rse cm ketinggalan zaman jek...adoiii...aku bnyk sgt mkan kpale ikan ke ek?aku rse smenjak aku blik kuching ni bru skali je aku mkan ikan...xpulak aku ambik bhgian kpale... tah la...pending2 aku ni pn aku kdg2 alert gak tau...(nk gak puji dri sndiri...hehehe...)ape xnye, kdg2 all probs that came out, aku dpt handle...haha...sbb kependingan aku ni act membantu aku utk xpk sgt bende2 remeh temeh ni...hehe...cewah...bwat berat kpale otak aku je...dh la kpale aku ni mmg dh t'overload oleh info2 yg b'gune (ceh...) n slebihnye yg xb'usik pn...hehe... adoi...tp don't worry...aku stil aku...ni lah aku...xleh nk ubah dh aku rse...2 la yg m'bwatkn aku jd aku...yela...xkn la aku tuka jd org laen lak kn...xnk r...aku hepi dgn dri aku walaupn aku slalu je bwat silap...adat la kn...nobody's perfect anyway...

1st entry ku...

salam... ni 1st entry aku...huhu...dah lame dh nk bwat blog sbenanye tp bru skarang t'makbul hasrat 2...hehe...buzy r...tp dh alang2 aku xde keje ni kn, so t'pk nk melalut la plak kt cni...so, to anyone who is interested to share any ideas, opinions n anything, just say it k...xde sape nk mara except ape2 yg inappropriate k...luahan prasaan, buah fikiran n ape2 je yg bole dijana oleh otak anda, bolelah dikemukakan kpd sy ye...nk gak tau...hehe...bkn nk mnyebok tp just being alert...hehe...sbb kwn2 aku ckp aku ni pending...yeke?don't know...but sometimes it's good to be pending n knows nothing than knows everything kn?bwat pening pale jek... sudi2 la menjenguk blog ni ey... n komen ape2 yg patut...